Corfu's Meddlesome 'Mossies' (Humour)
by David A. Ross
Corfu's Meddlesome 'Mossies' - Corfu Magazine - Vol. 6, No. 1, September 15, 2009
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Anyone who’s been to Corfu knows about the ‘mossies’. They are an unfortunatefact of life in an otherwise beneficent setting. Some years (and some locations) areworse than others, of course, but the little buggers more or less plague the islandfrom May through October. As a tourist, you know you’re in for a rough time whenyou first enter your rented room only to find a number of bloody smears
upon thewhitewashed walls. You hope against all hope that the carnage before you is theresult of a midnight hunting expedition long past, but somehow, deep inside, youknow that the massacre was an all-too-recent one. To further assess the situationyou might pick up a magazine left by the previous tenant and examine the cover.Another bloody corpse or two upon the paper (a telltale sign) confirms yourworst fear, and you begin to plot your strategy for all out war once you climbbetween the sheets that night.
Of course you prepare for the inevitable dive-bombing by immediately purchasing the conventional repellants: sprays, creams, etc. Any kiosk or mini-market sells the little chemi-
cally treated cardboard palettes that are activated by coils that plug into the electric socket. Those are supposed to mossies for the night, but one can judge their effectiveness not by the number of hours of sleep the mosquitoes get, but by the hours you yourself spend in the land of nod. Then there are the citronella coils you burn outside your doorway or window. Those are actually quite effective, if you can stand the noxious smell. Everybody, it seems, has his preferred method of dealing with one of nature’s most irritating
and pointless (no pun intended) creatures. For example, one man I know brings with him a concoction he gets online called Jungle Juice. Others swear by Avon’s Skin So Soft lotion (with which I myself have had very good results). I’ve also found that a ventilating fan set on the highest setting and pointed directly at one’s face discourages the squadron from making a sortie round your head. Though it’s certainly not a foolproof deterrent. You really know you’re in trouble when you’re awakened in the night by that first meddlesome buzzing near your ear. You reach up quickly to smash the squadron leader before he does any damage, but alas, you are too late: he’s already delivered his payload. This little game of attack and respond may go on all night long, and all you have to show for your desperate defensive effort come morning is a beet-red ear and a number of itching welts. Mosquitoes are indeed a fact of life during summer on Corfu, as they are other places as well, and having no really good way of dealing with them, we resolve to cope as best we can.
That said, there is another type of mosquito here as well – one which preys not on tourists but upon positive energy. He is not necessarily of the insect variety (though that is still open for debate). He attacks not during the night, but in broad daylight. He purposefully (and purposely) searches out his neighbors and swoops in as they try to conduct business (or help an elderly person across the street) with the sole intention of making things more difficult (and certainly more miserable). Here on Corfu, we all know this type of mosquito quite well, and he is a meddlesome creature indeed. Understanding that avoidance is the best deterrent, we attempt to deflect his advance,
sometimes successfully, but often too late. This despicable little insect has spoilt many a party, and ruined countless endeavors. He is a malicious little bugger, and he is not to be ignored or taken too lightly. There is, however, one tried and true method for dealing with this sort of meddlesome ‘mossie’, one to be practiced only when deflection has failed miserably: SMACK! Which is sometimes well worth a cauliflower ear come morning.
